'Bye

Seeing as the world is ending today, I thought I'd say goodbye, and thanks. It's been fun. As I write this (I pre-post) I figure Australia's already gone, though I haven't heard anything on the news. Asia, India, Russia and Europe, too. Bummer.

Or maybe everybody just gets raptured and the land masses themselves are still there? I'm not sure how this works. Does anybody know what time it's supposed to happen? John, Boz and I are going to wait in the car. We would like very much to go as a family unit.

Anyway, it's not like it's the end of the world. Well, it is, but at least Boz won't have to go to the vet this afternoon, and I can leave the dust bunnies under the bed where they so desperately want to be. And maybe we can finally save some frickin' money, for god's sake, because we won't have to pay the mortgage in January.

Just trying to look on the bright side.

I'm kind of disappointed because John was going to start teaching screenwriting in January, and now that's not going to happen, unless maybe we end up on a friendly planet where they have movies. And I've been excited about my book launch but I guess I didn't time it very well.

It's been nice sharing the internet with you all, and...oh geez...I'm going to miss the internet! C'est la vie. Or, I guess, c'est la mort.

No Darwin Awards Yet

Close, but no cigar. I wonder where that saying came from.

We had a good time here Friday making fun of predictions of the rapture. We weren't the only ones. The internet is rife with photos of piles of clothes left empty. At parties last night, people celebrated not being raptured. I heard of a gathering where they released 20 blow-up dolls filled with helium. Hilarious.

It's a tad less hilarious for those who believe(d) in this stuff. 

I don't think Harold Camping deserves 100% of the blame. Sure, he perpetrated a fraud (and collected $18 million from his followers to advertise it), but it's not like he forced people to believe him. Folks needed this. They ate it up. A few wanted so badly to leave this awful, awful earth that they sold everything they had and spent their life's savings in the process.

$18 million. Imagine if Camping had decided to do something good, like help people.

They say God helps those who help themselves. You know the story about the guy stranded in the flood who's sure God will save him? A boat comes by and he refuses to get in it, saying "God will save me." A raft comes along with friendly folks aboard. He says no to their offers of aid. "God will save me." A helicopter comes but he won't climb on. "God will save me," he says. Finally, when the water's up to his chin and there's no help in sight he calls out, "God, why haven't you saved me?" and God says, "Hey! I sent you a boat, a raft and a helicopter! That's all I've got!"

Some churches have offered consolation and counseling to those followers of Camping whose hopes were dashed along with their bank accounts and their pride. Maybe a few will see the hand of their God in that generosity, offering a life raft. But when Camping has disappeared from the limelight, the rest of the cowards who are too lazy or scared or just plain tired to help themselves will seek out some other Jim Jones, who will be more than glad to lead them by their noses to their ignominious doom.

I feel sorry for these people, I really do. It makes me angry to see them abused. But they make it so easy for the bad guys.

I post at midnight. I hope this story doesn't get any worse by morning.

If only the numerals in the photo said "2012." Close, but no cigar.

Oh Joy, Oh Rapture

I don't know about you but I've left my weekend calendar open, especially tomorrow--you know, for the rapture and all.

I don't fool myself that I'm going anywhere, but I'm excited to see who's holy enough to get raptured. Who do you think? The pope? John Boehner? Beyonce?

Anybody who thinks they're holy probably isn't, so it's going to be a surprise. It's supposed to be only about 3% of the world's population, so maybe we won't even notice.

Are you going? Anybody you know? Whom would you like to see raptured tomorrow?



Oh Joy, Oh Rapture Unforeseen (Boz found this particularly annoying.)