The famous author, Haruki Murakami, has announced he's going to write an advice column on his website.
Hell, I can do that! I can give advice on all kinds of subjects. I'm happy to tell you what to do. Just let me know what the problem is and I'll set you straight. Here are some examples of my useful guidance:
Dump the sucker.
No, no, black is sooo 2007.
Feed it to the cat.
It takes about two years.
Milk. I'm not kidding. It works.
Really! Just ask me. I'm glad to receive queries of any kind, in any language (I have Google Translate!). I will share my opinions on dogs, sports and dogs. And anything else I can spell, or sound out.
Just ask your questions in the comments and off we go!
42 comments:
Should I pay attention to, like, world affairs? Terrrorists, politics, movie stars—that stuff? I'm pretty sleepy right now.
any cat advice? ;-)
What I really need is the answer to what book do I read now? I haven't picked up a book to read at all this year!
Toenail polish. Gold or pink? {I swim in the shallows ... what can I say.}
I can't think of a question, Aunt Petrea. But I like your photos here!
Ha ha, you are funny. I have read most of his novels, he is a unique author.
What should I do when I grow up?
hmmmm. do u think Marakami should give out advice?
I guess I'm stuck in 2007. Black is my go-to colour.
John: not when you're sleepy, you won't be able to sleep. I suggest interest during waking hours, with a healthy detachment.
BD: You might try "I Could Pee On This and Other Poems by Cats." Ha! two in one.
http://www.amazon.com/Could-Pee-This-Other-Poems/dp/1452110581
Shell: since I'm into the two for one, I suggest pink with shiny sprinkles.
Thank you, Auntie Dina!
Stefan, I don't claim to be the author he is, that's for sure. He's quite a guy.
Maya: you should marry the love of your life and be a photographer.
KBF, I think if I can, he can. He could surely give writing advice.
Red tie, William? Grey pants? Just to jazz things up.
What do I do with this squid?
I like the color of this squid's ink.
This squid does not smell fresh, though.
How long until a squid is mature?
Now my cat dish smells like old squid.
Cliff: I'm sorry, but although you like the color of the ink you will not be keeping this squid. It's no longer fresh. It's no longer alive.
Put the squid in a plastic bag and tie the bag closed. You can call your bag the "squid bag" if you like, but it doesn't matter what you call it. Take it to the garbage can—the one outdoors, where it can't stink up the house. Let the garbage men take it away.
Your squid was probably about a year old when he died.
Time to bathe the cat.
You guys are cracking me up! What should I do?
Go with it, Bellis, as long as you're in the privacy of your home.
Should I just pretend like last night didn't happen or should I overthink it and get all freaked out? Or third option?
If I commit insurance fraud, does that make me a bad person?
Depends. Just keep on using that pseudonym.
You have found your true calling. You are a fount of wisdom.
Now I have two sets of answers to the same questions. I'm not sure my brain can handle that.
Thank you, Margaret. I also have some runes, in case I need them.
Cliff, sometimes you have to choose.
I guess that means I'm already a grown up. Oh to be a kid again!
I'll bet you've got some kid in you.
I've had to work at it. I have more kid in me now than when I was a kid. :)
Good! A noble pursuit!
You're perfect for this!
Thank you, Ms M. I appreciate your support.
That is good news....So now I know where to go:)
I like the colourful images of you. Artistic!
You should create yourself an 'Agony Aunt' title before you start though... 'Problem solving Petrea' or something?! ;-)
Thank you, Gunn!
Geoff, something like Pessimistic Petrea? Petrea the Pragmatist? I like that.
Practically Petrea.
I like that. It lends itself to interpretation.
I have a question. Is it true, is the grass really greener in Pasadena?
Not right now, William. We're having a drought. It's greener where you are.
Gosh, Petrea, you are amazing!
Hee hee, LOL, I try.
meow
meow meow meow
meow meow
meow meow MEOW!
Well?
Why aren't you laughing?
sigh
I must have told the joke wrong
just finished I Could Pee on This, thanks for the suggestion ;-)
Ha!
I haven't read the whole thing yet and that one is new to me. Cats have a sense of humor!
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