Best Laid Plans

When Birthday Month began I made a pledge: "I'm going to have a minimum of one adventure each week," I said, "and I'll tell you about my adventures here...an adventure is something I haven't done before."

Today's post is about best laid plans.

For Birthday Week, and I mean for my actual birthday, John had a super, one-of-a-kind adventure planned for me. I was pretty excited.

The day before my birthday, our adventure fell through due to no fault of John's. So we called on friends who helped us plan a good substitute. The adventure that happened, though, was that John and I woke up sick on my birthday.

Okay. It wasn't really an adventure by my definition. I mean, I've been sick before. It wasn't how I wanted to spend my milestone birthday, either, nor was it how I wanted to spend the week. Don't worry, I'm way better now.

What do you do when you commit to something for yourself but your time is committed elsewhere? How do you prioritize yourself? I need to get better at that

As it stands, I will have to have my birthday next week. I promise I'll report back to you.

A New Voice

 

Recently my life has changed quite a bit. It's not a tragedy, but some important things are gone and they've left some empty space.

I finished writing a novel I'd been working on for years. It was a passion project, a story I had to write. I wrote it and wrote it and wrote it until I got it right.

Then I published it. This was a major learning process, challenging and energizing. I studied the publishing business, hired people to do the things I didn't have the skills for, created a company and put out a product I'm proud of. It took more than a year of hard work.

Marketing the book has been time-consuming and rewarding. Then, when the book was finished and the publishing was finished and the marketing had become more fluid, Boz died. He was old and sick and it was time for him to go. Still, it was a blow and I haven't gotten past it yet. Since Boz died I've had to stop watching puppy videos on youtube because they make me cry. (But have you seen the baby goat video? How about the giggling meerkat video? These are what the web is for.)

A month ago I decided to take a blogging break. I've posted a couple of times since then, but not much.

Many of the things that were making my life busy are no longer here: writing, publishing, blogging, pooper. I've started a couple of new novels. I'll keep at it, but so far, meh. I'm looking for something new to be passionate about.

That's not exactly it. I have so much passion and gratitude for my husband, my home, my freedom. I care deeply about all kinds of stuff. John and I put down some mulch today in the garden and I was so excited I couldn't stop talking about it. That's true, really.

But anyway.

I'm looking for something new. I think it's a voice. A more honest voice.

It's been nice to be a cheerful booster here on the blog. But I want to speak more truthfully now, good or bad. Maybe I'll start a whole new blog for it. I haven't figured all this out yet. You know the phrase, "out with the old, in with the new." Well, the old is out. The new isn't here yet. But I've got a lot of room for it and I know it's on its way.

Break

Guys, I'm taking a break.

Last year was a busy one, with publishing and marketing Camelot & Vine. And I don't mind telling you l've taken Boz's death very hard. Plus I'm finding it more and more difficult to find Zen Monday shots!

I need to get out and about, climb some mountains, read some books and get inspired again.

I don't know when or if I'll be back but I won't say goodbye. I'll visit blogs from time to time and there will be more to share with you once I've refueled.

Thank you for being here. Let's not get weepy! I've been weepy since September 18th and it's time to move forward. Keep me on your Feedly or whatever you've got and I'll keep you up to date.

love, Petrea

Above Town

With the sun setting to our left and an old road beneath our feet, John and I enjoyed a walk above town on the Sunset Mountain Fire Road on the Fourth of July. You have to take Chaney Trail to get there and Chaney Trail is closed at 8pm, but we had plenty of time for a good hike, or so we thought.

On our way out at about 7:40pm we approached the locked gate near the bottom of Chaney Trail. Several Forest Service vehicles were there and the workers let us out (not that they had much choice, but they were nice about it). One Forest Service guy told us a sign had been posted for early closing at 6pm, but we sure hadn't noticed it. And we weren't the only ones. When we left there were at least four cars still parked at the trail head.

Can you spot the unexpected vehicle in this photo?

I Needed That

Lately Boz and I have been walking at dusk when it's cooler. The cicadas, frogs and crickets send up a racket. Behind every bush there's something to interest Boz, even if it's only a scent.

There's something to interest me, too, around every corner. A light, a shadow, a new view.

Yesterday was one of those days when nothing went right. Except this.

Sunset Fire Road

The Sunset Fire Road was closed to hikers after last autumn's Station Fire, which killed two firefighters and burned 251 square miles of forest. Not to be confused with the Sunset Trail, which remains off limits, the Sunset Fire Road is open again.

In Altadena, turn north off of Loma Alta Road at the flashing yellow light, onto Chaney Trail. Drive uphill until you reach the chain link fence. Park there. (Make sure your car displays an Adventure Pass--you can get one in the post office section at Webster's.) Then walk and enjoy. I think those firefighters would want you to.

Be sure you're back out on Loma Alta Road by 8pm, by the way. The Fire Road is open, but not around the clock. My friends and I almost didn't make it the other evening before the gates were locked. I might have been able to climb the fence but I'd have had to leave the car overnight and Boz would have had to camp out.

The mountains in the photo were once forested with trees resembling the survivors in the foreground. Last fall, after the fire, miles of mountains were covered with gray ash. It'll be years before a forest covers them again, but at least now they're colored a hopeful green.

I posted about the Sunset Fire Road once before, about two years ago. That, too, was in the aftermath of a fire. It strikes me that no matter what befalls it, this is compelling terrain.

Sfumato

From dictionary.com:
"sfu·ma·to: the subtle and minute gradation of tone and color used to blur or veil the contours of a form in painting." The word originates from the Italian, sfumare, "to gradate tone or color," which itself originates from fumare, "to smoke."

The fire in Sierra Madre, officially known as the Santa Anita Wildland Fire, is now 100% contained. But you can't contain the smoke.

We don't smell it anymore, and when we're in it we don't see it. But when you drive in to Pasadena you see it hanging over the San Gabriel Valley, backed up against the mountains, waiting for wind or rain to clear it out. I don't think we're going to have much wind soon, and surely we won't have rain. But time will take it away. Meanwhile, it softens the views on the Sunset Fire Road.