Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Boz and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day*

First, June gloom. In JULY.

Why get up? I did. I forget why.

Finally the sun comes out and what happens? BATH. They give me a BATH. It is TORTURE. Lather, rinse, REPEAT. Why repeat? WHY?

I endure because I know I will get the traditional pig ear for my reward. I take it to the back yard to have it and what happens? They leave. The people leave. I must guard the house alone for five minutes. Or five hours, I'm not sure which. It is AWFUL. I am bored. But I am vigilant.

When they come home oh joy! We go outside and another dog comes more joy! BIG DOG. I show him my move. My play move. He does not understand. He charges with teeth, growl, ar ar ar ar ar I don't remember but fast scared kill and the people--the male pulls big dog away and the female holds me. It takes five seconds. Or five hours, I'm not sure which. It is HORRIBLE. Scared.

My dinner is late. I don't get a walk.

I get a new bone. I don't remember why. Belly rub. TIRED.


*with apologies to Judith Viorst

27 comments:

Shell Sherree said...

Heh heh!! But I never get a pig ear when I have a bath...

Dina said...

Oh dear Boz, poor thing!
You really should write more often.
Have a quiet night. We love you.

Petrea said...

But Shell, do you want one?

I thought he was going to get killed, Dina, but he wasn't hurt. John is our hero.

Genie said...

Hummmm? Take me away Calgon bouquet with a pig ear? Uh, I'll skip the "ear"

Love the story, Petrea!

altadenahiker said...

Poor Boznia! I'm so glad he escaped without injury. (I think we should chip in and send Shell a pig's ear. Or I hear cow tails are big this year.)

Trish said...

LOL! You've hit dog brain right on the head! This is pretty much how they think.

ugh, pig's ears? bully sticks come out the other end smelling better usually. and Shell..find some good ribs, they'll taste better, really!

Petrea said...

Genie, champagne for you!

These animal part treats sound really creepy to me, Hiker. I remind myself Boz is a carnivore (though he loves carrots).

Trish, what's a bully stick? Some things come out of Boz in strange ways, so we don't experiment on him too much.

Darren Steven Schilling said...

I absolutely love this piece. If dogs think it's probably just like that :D So "in the moment". Beautiful

Pasadena Adjacent said...

So Johns Birthday was Bozzs' bummer? funny post

Bellis said...

Poor Boz. The dog probably attacked him because of the effeminate shampoo perfume. Try Carter's Carrion shampoo, which makes Abby smell like rotting skunk and earns her huge respect from the bully dogs.

Greg Sweet said...

Not for nothin', here's my new pup, Trudy♥♥♥

Susan Campisi said...

Yikes. Dog fights are scary. I love how Boz tells the story though. Glad he survived the attack. The good thing is they forget so quickly. At least I think they do.

I know what bully sticks are but I choose denial. I'll let Trish tell. But Tommy sure does love them.

Petrea said...

Welcome to PDP, Darren! Thanks for the compliment, I admit I like them.

PA, Boz's bad day was actually Monday. Poetic Dog License.

Thanks for the suggestion, Bellis. I doubt I'll try carrion shampoo, but I hadn't thought of the shampoo angle. You may be right. Boz smelled like oatmeal and probably looked like a meal.

Greg! Trudy is a looker! Ooh!

Susan, I hope they forget, too. Like Darren said, I think dogs are very much in the moment.

No one's going to tell me what a bully stick is. It's probably for the best.

Anonymous said...

Boz is a brave guardian (or player)!

DAYo.

Bellis said...

Hope that other dog doesn't live near you? Or did you meet it on a hike? I remember how scary it used to be when dogs raced over for no reason at all to attack my old dog. I'd throw myself in between them and get bitten as well. It all happens so quickly. Boz didn't get bitten, did he?

Petrea said...

Boz thanks you, DAYo. He'll be hanging up his sailor suit any day now.

Boz was unscathed, Bellis. The other dog is just a pancake of a dog who loves people. But he's apparently not good with other dogs. It was our mistake (the other owner's and mine) for giving them a shot together.

These things are usually (perhaps always?) due to owner error. I blame myself and I'm just so glad both dogs are okay.

Trish said...

I've sent you an email P on bully sticks. Similar to pigs ears, but without the pig. costco or your pet store should have them.

http://www.bestbullysticks.com/

not THE only type of stick, but a good one.

pasadenapio said...

The world is always greener on the other side.

Virginia said...

Well that is one of my favorite Viorst books . LOVE IT.
Boz darlin, it's a dog's life and we all feel for you.
Hugs and smooches,
Virg

Margaret said...

Oh poor Boz. Scratch his ear for me.

Petrea said...

Got your email, Trish, thanks.

PIO, I think you mean the world is always *greenie* on the other side.

I have hugged and smooched Boz for Virginia, and scratched his ear for Margaret. Now I'm going to go rub his belly for me.

Ms M said...

Love Boz's story, and very glad no one was hurt during the bad encounter! Give him an extra biscuit for me :)

TheChieftess said...

Greenies? Did someone say Greenies??? Daisy just perked up!!! Skip those darned pig's ears...give our Daisy a Greenie and she's your pal for life!!!

Turquoise Diaries said...

Oh dear Boz..first the bath and than the attack..What a day.. Hera hates bath,too She is not aware of it but we scheduled her quarterly bath for next week...

Paula L. Johnson said...

I (heart) Boz.

Petrea said...

Shh, Aysegul, don't tell her.

Paula, Boz hearts you, too, and he's especially huggable when he's clean.

Lori Lynn said...

Wilson relates.