@Petrea: the gal who redesigned my yard was the one who mentioned how everything in my yard 'was dicks and balls'.... she said male landscapers always choose trees and bushes, like the ones at the malls and medians to landscape... I've learned most male landscapers do not know a thing about design... the proof is where I live... they tend to overload backyards w/trees and ugly shrubs.. have no concept of visual spacing...
Be afraid, be very afraid. If he's no longer on the premises he could be right behind you.....
I'd never have noticed the phallic fence posts if Dive hadn't, but now it's all I see.
I miss you, and the happy PDP start to each day. What have you been doing to fill the huge void? I bet you're sitting home twiddling your thumbs, bored out of your mind.
Dog WAS on premises, but grew thumbs and took part of the gate with him. Be verrrry afraid! "Dog with thumbs roaming Pasadena!". Who knows what he'll get into or out of next!
LOL on the phallic symbols everwhere. Until my 9th grade English course, I rarely noticed phallic symbols or skulls in alcohol ads. After that, I found them EVERYWHERE! (ever seen Army ads with missiles in the cocked position?).
A friend hired a landscaper to plant some pansies and petunias beside her front drive (as an initial test before she let her loose on the rest of the 2 acre property). Quite literally, the landscaper (female but more on the butch side of things) bought a pony 6pack of each flower and planted them on a sweeping circular drive. It looked like a 2 year old had dropped them along the driveway, spaced about 6ft apart with just plain dirt in between. Landscaper didn't drop a bunch of dicks and balls, but things were quite sparse and thus, after several attempts to explain the large budget and potential for designing the rest of the yard, this woman was let go in favor of a different woman who understood design. The drive now looks more like Martha Stewart creations than a lonely, dying nursery.
Movie ads---well, this would be why, in almost 22 years of marriage, we have perhaps seen 20 first run mainstream movies out in a theater. Not our thing. Well, for more than the bling of Hollywood! ;-)
We spent our freshman year in high school looking at Time magazine ads (didn't read the articles, mind you). Phallic guns, trees, spires and Dali looking melted skulls in ice cubes. Quite an education for my young mind! I just thumbed through several mags and found all sorts of subliminal messages in the ads.
And yes, if you're going to let us galavant around without you every day, you've got to know our minds are going to spill out whatever we've found in the gutter, even more than when we had new subjects every day! I'm not sure any of us should be allowed out on this internet without adult supervision.
as a xpostie This is one of your nighmares. Where is the dog???? make a noise like a cough. wait listen. make a louder noise. wait then go quietly in to the mailbox praying.
See? This is why you should always write in full sentences. With no verb, how do you update this to past tense?
ReplyDeleteDoggone premises?
ReplyDeleteI'm more worried about the phallic obsession of the homeowner. Fenceposts, trees, orange erections … Herr Doktor Freud should perhaps pay a visit.
@Dive: Thought women only thought of trees as phallic symbols! lol....with that in mind:' Dog on premises- enter if u dare'
ReplyDeleteAn eternal optimist???
ReplyDelete...or not Dog on Premises. That is the (question-mark-less) question.
ReplyDeleteHow is "to continue" not a verb"? What about "to miss"? Or maybe you refer to a different sentence? Cliff, you're so opaque...
ReplyDeleteWe're all like that over here, Dive, aren't we, KBF? (What? I had no idea all these things were phallic.)
I usually stay out of this conversation because I don't want to influence what people say. So I'll stop now.
@Petrea: the gal who redesigned my yard was the one who mentioned how everything in my yard 'was dicks and balls'.... she said male landscapers always choose trees and bushes, like the ones at the malls and medians to landscape... I've learned most male landscapers do not know a thing about design... the proof is where I live... they tend to overload backyards w/trees and ugly shrubs.. have no concept of visual spacing...
ReplyDeleteBe afraid, be very afraid. If he's no longer on the premises he could be right behind you.....
ReplyDeleteI'd never have noticed the phallic fence posts if Dive hadn't, but now it's all I see.
I miss you, and the happy PDP start to each day. What have you been doing to fill the huge void? I bet you're sitting home twiddling your thumbs, bored out of your mind.
Dog WAS on premises, but grew thumbs and took part of the gate with him. Be verrrry afraid! "Dog with thumbs roaming Pasadena!". Who knows what he'll get into or out of next!
ReplyDeleteLOL on the phallic symbols everwhere. Until my 9th grade English course, I rarely noticed phallic symbols or skulls in alcohol ads. After that, I found them EVERYWHERE! (ever seen Army ads with missiles in the cocked position?).
A friend hired a landscaper to plant some pansies and petunias beside her front drive (as an initial test before she let her loose on the rest of the 2 acre property). Quite literally, the landscaper (female but more on the butch side of things) bought a pony 6pack of each flower and planted them on a sweeping circular drive. It looked like a 2 year old had dropped them along the driveway, spaced about 6ft apart with just plain dirt in between. Landscaper didn't drop a bunch of dicks and balls, but things were quite sparse and thus, after several attempts to explain the large budget and potential for designing the rest of the yard, this woman was let go in favor of a different woman who understood design. The drive now looks more like Martha Stewart creations than a lonely, dying nursery.
KBF, I won't scold you for being a sexist piglet when it comes to landscapers, because I am one when it comes to doctors. Women only, that's my rule.
ReplyDeleteBellis, you know me, sitting around eating bonbons. I have literally nothing to do! (Thank you for missing me.)
Trish, look at movie ads for penises galore. And I'm not talking porn.
After reading the comments, whatever I planned to say has gone straight out of my mind.
ReplyDeleteI leave for less than a week and it all goes to hell.
ReplyDelete@Petrea: see what happens!. if Dive didn't mention phallic- none of this would have happened...see what the male gender causes??? HAVOC! lol
ReplyDeleteOops.
ReplyDeleteHavoc has its place, KBF.
ReplyDeleteMargaret: Mmhmm.
Margaret took the words out of my mouth. Dog-gone-it.
ReplyDeleteMovie ads---well, this would be why, in almost 22 years of marriage, we have perhaps seen 20 first run mainstream movies out in a theater. Not our thing. Well, for more than the bling of Hollywood! ;-)
ReplyDeleteWe spent our freshman year in high school looking at Time magazine ads (didn't read the articles, mind you). Phallic guns, trees, spires and Dali looking melted skulls in ice cubes. Quite an education for my young mind! I just thumbed through several mags and found all sorts of subliminal messages in the ads.
And yes, if you're going to let us galavant around without you every day, you've got to know our minds are going to spill out whatever we've found in the gutter, even more than when we had new subjects every day! I'm not sure any of us should be allowed out on this internet without adult supervision.
Then again, maybe it isn't ALL your fault!
maybe he's in the house
ReplyDeleteThis is my thought, Lulu, but what do I know?
ReplyDeleteTrish, once you're aware, you see it everywhere.
I hope so, PA.
These comments are too funny!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's a ghostly dog, like the Hound of the Baskervilles.
as a xpostie This is one of your nighmares. Where is the dog???? make a noise like a cough. wait listen. make a louder noise. wait then go quietly in to the mailbox praying.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's ghostly AND in the house, Ms M. Now I don't know if we should let him out or not.
ReplyDeletePostie, I get you. Don't tell the guys in the main office, but our current postman likes our dog.
I wonder if the dog on premises likes to debate his premises.
ReplyDeleteGood one.
ReplyDeleteI lost all creative thought after reading Dive's comment...
ReplyDelete