Sunday, June 1, 2014

Falling in Love Again

Long-time readers will remember Boz, the internationally famous, boxer/pit bull mix who stole my heart and -- wait. That's a cliché. He never stole a thing, not even treats. Maybe the occasional tidbit on the kitchen floor, but that's not stealing.

I willingly gave Boz my love, and he grew old and died, and that's the way it goes. I grieved hard. I'll never get over him but I'm finally ready to move on and find another dog to shower with love.

(More cliché. In my experience, dogs don't like the shower. So I'll just love him or her, and give her the occasional bath.)

Those who followed the Facebook saga know that John and I adopted Selkie a couple of weeks ago. We fell in love with her at the Pasadena Humane Society (another cliché, but we did fall, it's impossible not to). We didn't consider some things: her youth, mostly. We consulted a pro, and after less than a week we decided we had to take her back to the shelter. Her needs were beyond our power and expertise. After five days together, all three of us were emotional wrecks.

That wasn't Selkie's fault. We made the wrong decision and she suffered for it.

This, too, is cause for grief, though it could have been worse for everyone if we'd waited longer. (If you visit the shelter and want to meet her, ask for Kaylee. I think that's what they call her. She is a beautiful, loving dog.)

We took a few days off to recharge, and we're ready to look again. We're taking it slowly, watching for the dog we can share our lives with. Some of you have sent suggestions. They're all great. We're being careful, meeting with the dogs who seem like possibilities. There are thousands within driving distance who all need a home.

We know we're not going to find another Boz. But dogs are individuals and we might find an adult, short-haired mutt who is low key, laid back, even repressed (that's a plus!), who just needs love, security, and a bit of happiness in order to come into his or her own.


27 comments:

José Mendonça said...

With the arrival of summer there currently is a very agressive campaign against those who abandon animals in my country. It's very well done and I hope it's effective. Hope you find your new friend soon.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

She is gorgeous!... Glad u two did the right thing and figured out that her high energy and youth were beyond what u were expecting... personally, I think she knew you two were still thinkin' of Boz... and weren't quite 100% ready..Animals are so smart. It took me 8 years to open my heart fully.. I think Cesar would agree. It will happen when u least expect it.

Dina said...

Good luck, happy hunting.

Petrea Burchard said...

That's a problem here, too, JM. Some people just don't think of animals as members of the family. It breaks my heart.

We're ready, KBF. We are dog people.

Thanks, Dina.

Ann Erdman said...

Boz was such a lovebug. Selkie is destined to be somebody else's darling. Your next loving companion is waiting for you. You just haven't found each other yet. It will be a blessed event when that day comes.

savannah said...

I wish you well, sugar! You know what you need and y'all are on the right path to finding the one. xoxoxo

(I have some "recovery" time coming up soon, so your book is my first read.)

Petrea Burchard said...

Selkie loves to cuddle, Ann. She's a sweetheart. Boz didn't much like cuddling but he was a champion napper and very much our speed.

Savannah, I think when one starts looking one is on the path to finding. Now I must nose around your blog and find out what you're recovering from.

Katie said...

Sorry to hear the rest of the Selkie story (as FB deemed your second post not worthy of my feed so I thought all was well). It's not easy to adopt a pet and have it not be a good fit (as I learned once years ago with a cat), but you're right to accept that fact and start again. I have no advice, but I'm very hopeful that the right dog will cross your path soon!

William Kendall said...

Good luck with the search.

Perhaps a less energetic breed of dog might be ideal?

Petrea Burchard said...

Thanks, Katie and William.

Perhaps, William, it's about the breed. It might even be about psychology. Boz was a boxer/pit mix, and you'd think he'd be high strung. But he was about as low strung as they come. We also adopted him when he was older, around 5. That makes a difference.

TheChieftess said...

OK...here I am with suggestions...have you tried the Glendale shelter? Also, I found Kelly on-line...in Ventura...of course, we had issues finding a dog to rescue because we didn't have fences and were too far away for home visits...but the local rescues are really a good resource, and often give descriptions of the dogs personality and suggestions for type of home. Check out the Boxer rescues...I'm sure that was the more mellow part of Boz!!! Of course...if you really want a mellow cuddler...a Golden Retriever is your best bet!!!

Petrea Burchard said...

We have a couple of places to visit this week, Chieftess. Glendale's website doesn't show anyone that fits for us, but I can call them.

We got Boz at Boxer Rescue and will try them again, though they make it very difficult by not publishing their address or answering their phone! They're privately funded, probably can't afford to have someone at the phones all day.

Book Dragon said...

When I have an opportunity to get a dog, I'm looking for a Whippet. Yes, they're active but they'll be couch potatoes with you while inside. And an extra plus for me, they're the most catlike dogs so I'll be getting two ;-)

Ms M said...

Wonderful post.
I know you and John will be "chosen" by a special dog soon....

Margaret said...

I'm sorry it didn't work out. I really valued the Glendale humane society, a no-kill facility, that really helps you find a dog that is a good fit. Good luck.

Petrea Burchard said...

Book Dragon, we have several greyhounds in the neighborhood and their owners say the same thing about them.

Thank you, Ms M. I love the way you put it.

Petrea Burchard said...

That's two recommendations for Glendale we've gotten, Margaret. I didn't see anyone on their website who seemed right, but you never know who showed up over the weekend. I'll give them a call.

Bellis said...

Keep looking because unless you find them in the street and they jump in your car, it can take a long time. I eventually found Abby on Craig's list, where you can meet the owner to assess if they're genuine dog lovers, and the dogs haven't gone through the stress of being put in a shelter. I've been reading that differences in personality among dogs are greater among members of the same litter than among different breeds and a lot depends on how they've been raised up to the crucial age of 4 months. If from a puppy mill and kept in kennels, they may not bond well with humans. It's best when they're with a family during puppyhood. My preference is for herders and retrievers, as they stay with you on walks (unlike terriers like Tina) and lab mixes make wonderful companions and are short-haired. Older dogs (6 or over) are calmer and find it hard to get adopted - my heart goes out to them. My hairdresser's young son volunteers at Boxer Rescue - would you like me to arrange contact?

A scientific study on the personalities of different breeds (I'll bring you the book from England) concluded that most dog breeds make good pets, though cocker spaniels never care much for their humans, Basenjis are the most curious and the personality descriptions for various breeds of the American Kennel Club are very inaccurate.

Petrea Burchard said...

Thanks, Bellis. We are looking for a dog who is at least 4 years old or more. I love older dogs and would adopt them all if I could.

I have a note in to someone at Boxer Rescue. Maybe your hairdresser's son can recommend a dog who fits our bill. One of the reasons we found such a great dog in Boz is because a volunteer knew him, and had a feeling he was right for us. We will always be grateful to her.

Book Dragon said...

I have a cousin who works the greyhound rescue, looks like I'd better talk to her when I'm ready.

I saw this (http://imgur.com/gallery/kAqDO) and thought of you.

Petrea Burchard said...

BD, I don't know much about whippets or greyhounds. I've met some greyhounds and they're sweeties. All the ones I know were rescued from racing.

altadenahiker said...

I'm proud of you for not giving up. You'll fall in love again, I'm sure.

Petrea Burchard said...

We're sure trying, Hiker. We've got appointments all over the southland. I don't have any trouble falling in love. I love them all. It's a good thing we have laws and John is rational, or I'd have a back yard full of pit bulls.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

I think you were wise to have given yourself a proper period of doglessness.

I once had a Boz named Tess. She was the best. The BEST! and her death left me bereaved. I was a mess and I didn't wait a proper amount of time to prepare me for the next.

Although I came to love Tovah dearly, it was never a right fit. I judged her unfairly against what was and it got in the way of the bonding process. A lesson I didn't forget when I went out to find Twyla nearly a year later.

She'll never be my beloved Tess, but this little monkeys a charmer and unlike any before her.

Petrea Burchard said...

A tale well told, PA. I must not expect a Boz, I must expect someone new, who is the best him or herself.

Irina Rekhviashvili said...

All the best to you in your search. Maybe you do not realize that you need more time to calm your heart and memories before the next journey.
But the loss of these innocent creatures is so bitter, I am so sorry.

Petrea Burchard said...

I remember a post on your blog, Irina--a photo of stray dogs. "The loss of these innocent creatures" sums it up beautifully. This, I realize, is something I can't change. What a world.